The 29th Amendment - Free Refills!

There are certain rights and freedoms afforded to Americans that make it such a great place to live. We're allowed to purue our goals and dreams, live free from tyranny and oppression, elect our representatives (well, except for certain presidential races), and conduct our lives as we please.

Of course, there are many other countries that allow such freedoms. one freedom, however, that is distinctly American is the right of free refills. That's right, the freedom to have as much Mountain Dew in one restaurant sitting as you want.

Although we enjoy this delightful freedom, it comes with an important responsibility: we must preserve this right for future generations.

As the world becomes smaller and national economies and governments become more interdependent, we must ensure that no outside entity can ever interfere with our free refill way of life.

This staple of American freedom must be preserved and enforced through the power of the U.S. Constitution. Therefore, Super Happy Land proposes the following, to be offered to the American people as the 29th Amendment:

"Congress shall make no law abridging the right of any person to obtain free refills.

A free refill is the complimentary replenishment of a restaurant patron's soft drink by said restaurant. Restaurants may establish their own rules pertaining to the allocation of such refills, so long as these rules are applied equally to all patrons, and in accordance to the fourteenth article of amendment to the Constitution.

The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article."

Save free refills now! Call your representatives and tell them you want your great-great-grandchildren to enjoy this right just as you are able to.

And do it now, before Regis is done brainwashing us all!

-- Tom, 12/13/00

(Full disclosure: Reprinted from the now defunct Super Happy Land, http://www.superhappyland.com)